Ferris Wheel
by emeraldgeminideathboar
Summary: Fai finds himself on a ride that is reminding him of too many things that he wishes he could forget. slight KuroFai, spoilers for Acid-Tokyo and Celes


**Ferris Wheel- this is my attempt of writing Fai-centric angst, this fic takes place in a world **

**between tokyo and infinity**

Fai was standing in the shadows by the cotton candy booth, even though he could not eat regular food anymore he still enjoyed the smell. It reminded him of all of the sweets he liked to eat.

Earlier that day the gang arrived in a world called Xari, Mokona did not scene a feather however they all decided to stay for the night, they were exhausted and needed a break. It was about three hours ago when they discovered a place called the "carnival," a place to have fun. Mokona convinced them that they should go (no doubt in an attempt to reunite the family.) Syaoran accompanied the princess where ever she wanted to go and for one night she seemed to forget that it was not "her" Syaoran that was with them.

Fai had no idea where Kurogane went, but at the moment he did not care. He was alone and that was how he liked it. Fai got up from his position near the wall and began to walk around, he needed to make sure he stayed alone.

It was midnight the full moon shown its light down on the carnival and all of its people. Fai was glad that the event took place at night rather then in the day. Because of resent changes Fai found himself hating the day time. It did not do him any physical damage like he had seen in movies, however it irritated his eyes and made him feel sleepy. The night was exactly the opposite, it made Fai fell truly alive, more then he had felt in ages. Sometimes his instincts would surface just because it was night and for no other reason. Fai had to force them down so that he would not attack Kurogane when he saw him. He hated the way night made him feel, it felt so disgusting, so inhuman. Fai has always felt like a monster on the inside, all he ever did way hurt people... and now he had a body to match.

Fai walked around a bit more checking out all of the rides in the carnival, this looked like a place where Sakura and Syaoran would have lots of fun, he silently hoped they were. He was about to sit back down when a certain ride caught his eye. It was tall, the biggest ride in the whole area, dull light shined around it making it seem new. Curiously Fai made his way over to the line.

"Would you like to get on?" Asked a voice, Fai turned around to see an old man who was running the ride.

Fai took another look at the ride before agreeing, "What is it called?" he asked.

The old man stared at him, "You have never seen a ferris wheel before?"

"Ferris Wheel?" Fai repeated, "I can't say I have..."

"Well then I hope you enjoy it." the old man smiled.

Fai got into the seat of the "Ferris wheel" as the old man started up the ride. Fai felt himself being lifted up from the ground, it made him feel so free, just as he felt when he was with Ashura before all of the madness happened.

Up, the ferris wheel went...

"_I have come here to take you away from this place." Ashura smiled when Fai took his hand._

Higher...

"_Fai your magic is the real thing, you are truly worthy for the title 'D'" Ashura patted Fai on the head as Fai proceeded to hug him._

Higher...

"_You should try smiling," Ashura suggested._

_Fai reluctantly gave the first smile he made since the death of his brother._

"_Did it work?"_

"_Huh?" Fai asked._

"_Smiles are another form of magic... you healed me with just that one."_

"_...Thank you, your majesty." a true smile worked its way to Fai's face._

The ferris wheel stopped... Fai looked down to discover that he was at the top, a small gust blew against Fai's face as he took in the sights of the carnival from such a high place... it was lonely, but not more then what Fai thought he deserved. Suddenly the ride went down, sinking all of Fai's hopes and dreams.

Down the ferris wheel went...

"_Blood!" Fai called when he saw that the red liquid was dripping down from Ashura's hand. "Did you hurt yourself? Are you ok?"_

"_No that's not it..." Ashura's eyes clouded over hiding what ever he was thinking._

Lower...

"_I will go," Fai stated._

"_Wait," Ashura said, not moving from his throne._

"_I have to, that creature has been killing innocents for far too long."_

"_Wait"_

"_Remember, your majesty I promised to not let anything happen to the people of celes, so I must go," Fai insisted. "this might be a beast that has just come to celes."_

"_no, this creature has always been here..." The king stated smiling like he knew something Fai did not._

Lower...

_Fai opened the twin doors to come face to face with the monster..._

"_So," Ashura stated pulling his hands out of a innocence's heart, "That means that you must kill me." Fai could not speak, why would Ashura do this? "Should I go outside to find more people to kill?" the king asked._

_Fai did not know what to do, so he did what he thought was right, he put the king to sleep... and hoped he would never wake up... "A least you can have sweet dreams."_

The ride reached the bottom, the exact place he was to start with. Fai more than anything wanted to get off the ride, it was reminding him of too many things he did not want to remember. However it seemed that the ride was going up again.

Up, the ferris wheel went...

"_So what shall we call this person in black?" Fai asked surveying his new traveling companions. _

"_You call me my name. Kurogane." responded the man._

"_Kurogane huh, thats a bit too long... how about Kuro-rin, Kuro-tan or maybe Kuro-puu?"_

_the man looked like he was about to explode... Maybe just maybe Fai would be able to have fun, before he had to finish his job._

Higher...

"_Come back soon!" Fai called._

_Kurogane and Syaoran exited the Cat's Eye to continue their demon hunting. Fai found himself waiting for his big Kuro-wan-wan to come back. Ever since that night at the bar, Fai could deny it no longer, he was in love with Kurogane._

Higher...

_It was Rekord Country in which Fai realized that Kurogane liked him back. When they shared their first kiss it was like nothing else in the world mattered besides Kurogane's tongue inside his mouth, it was heavenly._

This time the ride did not even bother to stop at the top it just proceeded to go strait down.

Down it went...

"_Your eyes hold magic, I will need this as well to retrieve the feathers." the clone said as he plunged his fingers into Fai's eye._

_Fai wanted to scream, but no sound came out, it was so painful..._

Lower...

_Fai tried to stop them from changing him, he did not want to continue to live. Not only was Kurogane forcing him to, but he was changing him into a monster, one that hurts people to survive._

_When the blood first touched his lips, he felt himself change. It felt like there was a animal tearing out from his insides ripping every thing in its path, not leaving a part of his body untouched. The pain was worse then anything else he had ever experienced, millions of times worse then the eye gouging._

_Now the outside finally matched the inside..._

Lower...

"_Good morning... Kurogane." Fai smiled the most obvious fake smiled he ever did in his life._

_Kurogane's face changed from a look of hope to one of sorrow. Fai expected him to he mad, but somehow the emotion he was displaying was hundreds of times worse..._

_'I'm sorry' Fai silently thought, 'but I can't forgive you'_

When the ferris wheel got to the bottom Fai was reveled to find out that the ride was over. He did not know what he would do if he had to go on again. Getting out of the seat he found himself at the very bottom, exactly where he started, and exactly where he was going to stay...

"Did you enjoy it?" the old man asked when Fai began to walk away.

"...Yes," Fai lied.

"Well next time you can come with someone, it makes it so much better."

Fai fake smiled, "I will..."

He was relieved when he finally put some distance between him and the ferris wheel, he never wanted to see that again. For it made him have hope that one day he would stay up and not come down, it was that hope that scared him.

**First try at an angsty fic... what do you think?**


End file.
